5th July 2010 - Tea or dinner… when language gets in the way of life.

I have just spent three minutes staring at my computer screen, trying to decide on the correct way to phrase a suggestion that, next week, I meet with an old friend for food. Food, in the evening.



I have been wondering whether to change the word ‘tea’ in the message to ‘dinner’, or to avoid the issue entirely by just calling it what it is –‘food’. Clearly, neither is correct. To write ‘dinner’ in a message to a fellow Huddersfield friend would probably instigate raised eyebrows; it is almost a cardinal sin.


But saying ‘tea’ to anyone other than family, after two years in an environment that has been more than peppered by southern influence, feels just as alien.


I am a northerner. I am undeniably proud of this, and I never imagined that it could be seen as a problem, especially when I started at Lancaster University, an institution that is much further north than my home in Huddersfield. Starting at Lancaster, I didn’t expect to have my language repeatedly mocked and ‘corrected’ by linguistically arrogant southerners.


I should have been forewarned. Almost as soon as I reached my six-bedroomed on campus flat in October 2008, I found that there seemed to be a theme emerging. My flatmates were from Essex, Northampton, Redditch and Plymouth. And Norway. But essentially, I was the token funny voiced resident.


Immediately I found myself watching my language. If I didn’t, a chorus of ‘Lucy, say ‘nowt’! Say ‘owt’!’ would ensue. It is very, very rare that I ever say ‘nowt’, or ‘owt’, but occasionally my northern dialect does kick in –‘tea’, ‘mate’, ‘nah’. The Southerners found it hilarious. It is so superficial, I could scream.


One particular flatmate appeared to believe that the north was simply one town. One memorable quotes was, ‘Do you say ‘book’ like ‘buwk’? My mum used to say ‘buwk’, because she’s from the north. She doesn’t anymore.’


It turns out that this mother was originally from Durham, a hundred miles from Huddersfield. It isn’t that close.


But I digress. Back to my Facebook message. My Huddersfield friend Danielle does not care about the sensitive intricacies of the English dialect. She would not notice anything strange about my message if I wrote ‘tea’, but if put ‘dinner’ the aforementioned surprise would be almost guaranteed. And this is on Facebook, where most people pay so little attention to their language choices that quite often their messages/ comments/ status updates are almost illegible.


I could suggest, if I was in a particularly pseudo-intellectual frame of mind, that it isn’t just about dialect, it is about roots, and more than anything identity.


I feel pretentious and try hard saying ‘dinner’, simply due to the fact that I am not southern and have no desire to be. So to my northern friends and my family, I’m sticking with ‘tea’. To everyone else, it’ll quite simply have to be ‘food’. I can’t be bothered with the politics.